Monday, April 02, 2012

For him, I pray~


In fact, April Fool is just over,
and I just back from my hometown,
back from ICU to visit my grandpa.

All I wish is He won't be that suffer...
I visited him in High Dependency Unit(HDU) on friday and he still able to talk
I asked him to wait for me to graduate, and he promised...

Who knows the next day, he entered ICU,
*I only able to visited him on sun evening, which according to my mum, his condition is much more stable compared to condition on saturday.
Looking at his condition, I tried my best not to let my tears drop infront of anyone there,
but, I just can't withstand when he looked at me, in the way of suffer, 
opened his mouth with the help of ventilator to breath in the air...
My tears started to drop....
I quickly rubbed the tears and tidy up my emotions outside of ICU with my brother,
get in again, tried my best to smile and encourage him...
He can’t talk, only eye contact with us~

He feel tired and take a rest finally,
I hold his cold hand for a while, 
stunned at his face,
was flashing back all in this while, he was ok,
still rmb during CNY, he still had steamboat dinner with us,
But now, I looked at the dialysis machine beside his bed, sensor for the medical instruments,
I wonder why all these happen all together,

I can't help him, can't helped him to relieve some pain,
I even doubt that,
are we doing the right decision to send him to the hospital to extent his life or
I should just let go? *it was a stupid idea , i know...

I just pray hard miracle will happen,
I don't mind takes time to slowly apply the treatment/cares on him…
I just wish he can be healthy….

p/s: I know the day will reach, but I am not ready yet….
still dun understand why he choose the way that can't return~
Special thanks to Edwin here…

3 comments:

叶子 said...

unnie, hwaiting.. let's pray together n believe the miracle will happen

Wil said...

been passed the same process as my grandmum... extending make her looked more suffer, after a period she only closing her eyes without any response T.T sometime, letting go is the best... fearless... we have to face it someday >< pray for the miracle!

Unknown said...

Erm... to be honest, from my experience point of view, normally if old ppl can get through Cheng Beng and 7th month they will be fine... My grandpa past away on April Fool's Day 10 years ago also... Be strong. Think of the positive always.